Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
