that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
