so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
