I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
