I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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