It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
