I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
