Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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