the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
