i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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