i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
