I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
