What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
