Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just invented taco cereal.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
