There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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