she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
