he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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