I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
