I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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