Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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