So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
