Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
