So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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