He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
