I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm bleeding and have questions
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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