yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
