cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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