Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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