How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
