no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
