you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
