we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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