Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
