U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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