I think I just saw someone hide a body.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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