Why are handjobs necessary in class?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
