it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
