I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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