my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
