You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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