I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
