he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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