Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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