I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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