Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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