White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
