Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
