It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
