I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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