when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
