Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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