They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
