i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
