I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
